Does the struggle define me?
Sometimes, it may feel like phases of life or our struggles, pasts, failures and shortcomings define who we are. When we tell ourselves these are the defining factors of who we are, are we being truthful or are we instead buying into lies that a culture based on perfectionism has taught us? I think these are lies. Yes, it's true that every experience we have...every struggle we face...every failure that is a constant battle...goes into making us who we are today. However, these things do not define you. It is so easy to focus on these hard aspects of our lives, rather than focusing on the positive things about who we are. Instead of letting the difficult things we go through or the struggles we face be things which challenge, stretch and grow us – things we learn from – that shape us, we let them define us and weigh us down. We let them destroy our confidence and potential. We let them hold us back and we begin to pull back. Why do we do that? I think of my son who is 16 months old. He is hitting a phase where he is growing leaps and bounds both physically and intellectually. Everyday, I watch his persistent-self try new things. He climbs and trips and falls, but he immediately gets back up to try again. He tries to reach something that is slightly too far for him, so he tries reaching for it a new way, and won't give up until he succeeds. He gets into something he knows he's not supposed to, and we have to gently discipline him and teach him not to do whatever it was. He might be sad and pull back for a second, but he quickly moves on and keeps coming back for smiles, cuddles and love. Each of these things might discourage him. He might cry and get frustrated, but in each case, he stays persistent, keeps trying and reaches success. You see, what I'm trying to say here, is that struggles, failures and difficult things in my little man's life do not define him. He is persistent, and he doesn't even consider pulling back. I think that can be translated into our lives as adults, too. Maybe we should learn from the little ones in our lives. Maybe they're here to teach us something. Maybe that something is that we need to free ourselves to be who we were made to be. That our pasts, struggles, phases of life we're in – our failures and shortcomings do not define who we are. God created us to be more than that. To be free in Him. To learn from our experiences and grow and become who He made us to be. Next time you sink into shame and defeat, try taking a step back and reminding yourself that you were created in the image of God, and that it is your relationship with Him that defines you – not the negative things you've done or anything else. Remind yourself that you are human, and you will struggle, fail, and make mistakes, but that is not the end, because there is grace. There is grace every day. Grace to continue. Grace to learn from our struggles and pasts. Grace to move on. Grace to overcome. Grace upon grace, upon grace. You are not defined by your past – the shame, guilt or defeat you may feel. You are much more than that, because you are loved by HIM, and he will never stop pouring His love and grace over you.