Toddler parenting can be difficult sometimes and it seems that we’ve hit one of those phases with little man. Honestly, I don’t want the focus of this piece to be on the negatives, but let’s just say there has been a lot of angry screaming (mostly from him), tantrums, defiance, time outs, and mom-and-dad-ready-to-pull-their-hair-out moments.
Guys, it hasn’t been pretty.
There are so many things about this phase that are actually fun, exciting and amazing to experience. Little Man is developing so much. He's growing, learning new things, and expressing himself more and more clearly.
The hard part of the learning, growing and expressing, comes in him testing the limits, responding to situations by screaming and acting ugly, and moments where he is just plain mean.
It has been one of the more difficult weeks of parenting for those reasons. Dealing with those things is extremely fatiguing and I miss interacting with him in our normal way. I miss his sweetness when this new side takes over.
On top of that I have gotten so angry at myself for the way I have responded to this toddler phase of intense expression and testing the boundaries.
I’ve cried, and I’ve lost my temper with my 2.5 year old. I’ve vented to Keegan with almost every text or call he gives me when he’s at work. I’ve been the angry mom that I detest. It’s been cold, which is hard for my outdoor loving boy, and I I haven’t had the motivation to get out and do the fun indoor things because I’m too exhausted from doing the parenting, toddler-wrestling, pregnant lady, freelancer things. And many nights, I’ve laid down to sleep telling Keegan that I feel like the worst mom in the world.
I would never trade being a mom, but I have to admit that it is also the most challenging job ever, and I think I'm not alone in this feeling.
To the parents having a day, week or month where it feels like your child has become a demon, you are not alone. To the parents who are losing their temper, snapping and later crying about how they acted, you are not alone. To the parents who feel like no matter what they do they are failing, you are not alone and you are not a failure.
Parenting is a tough business. It takes everything we have and more than we thought we had. It takes determination and grit and sometimes tears. And grace. Parenting needs grace.
I keep reminding myself that the phase we are experiencing with Little Man is just that: a phase. And during this phase, he needs us to teach him how to express himself, but not lash out at the people around him. He needs us to teach him that tantrums are not acceptable and show him better ways of expressing himself. We need to help him understand why he needs to listen to mama and daddy. And we need to show him and ourselves grace in the process.
If you're reading this and you're struggling too, remember, you are not alone, you can do this and give yourself grace.